


The Morning After

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Communication, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 10:47:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17558924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: post 1x02Michael and Alex have a long history of not communicating. Both of them work off of assumptions about the other one and about their relationship or lackthereof. The morning after Alex stays over, Michael can't stay quiet anymore.





	The Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much to @caitlesshea for beta-ing this for me

He didn’t want to wake up. For one, it was too damn early. The sun wasn’t even fully up yet. For another, he was too comfortable to even think about moving.

It had been a long time since he had woken up like this. Content and oh so goddamn comfortable. Too long. Ten years too long.

He knew why. Of course he knew why this morning was different. It had everything to do with the weight in his arms. On his chest. The weight of another person, soft exhales ruffling his chest hair. The weight of _Alex_.

Michael finally opened his eyes only so he could stare down at the other man. As much as he wanted to go back to sleep, he wouldn’t give up this view for anything. Especially since he had no idea when he would get to see it again.

Michael blinked some of the sleep out of his eyes and shifted in the small bed. He turned and scooted down some so that he could look at Alex without craning his neck. His movements seemed to startle the other man; Alex moved to close the small gap that Michael’s shifting had opened between them. But he didn’t wake up.

When he saw that Alex was still fast asleep, Michael couldn’t contain his smile. Softly, slowly, he reached up and brushed some of the hair away from Alex’s eyes. Keeping his movements slow so as not to wake him, Michael reached around Alex and pulled him even closer, gently stroking up and down his back.

Dimly, he thought he ought to be scared. It was moments like this where he felt most connected to everyone else. To humans. When he was younger, he would have said it was sex that made him feel that connection. After all, it was hard to be any physically closer to another person than during sex. But he’d been wrong. So very wrong. It was the quiet moments like these, just being in the presence of someone without pretense or barriers, that made him feel the most alive. The most human. Generally, he tried very hard to forget that he only felt this way around Alex. That no other human ever made him feel like he _fit_. Like he belonged here, on this planet, after all. 

And that should scare him. One person having that much power over him. But laying here, wrapped around Alex, sharing his breath? He couldn’t be scared.  
__

Michael couldn’t say how long they laid there, wrapped up in each other. At some point the sun rose but he wasn’t paying it any attention other than to marvel at the way the light hit Alex’s face. 

In the time that he’d been awake, they’d shifted again. Alex’s head was back on Michael’s chest but they were somehow even closer than they’d been before. Now, there was scarcely an inch of space between their bodies, their legs fully intertwined. At some point, Alex had run his hand across Michael’s chest and he had grabbed it. 

Their hands were still clasped between them when Michael felt Alex start to wake. It was gradual, the slow waking after a restful night’s sleep. Until it wasn’t. 

Michael knew the instant Alex realized where he was. His whole body tensed up and he slipped his hand from Michael’s. He tried not to let it hurt him. Instead, he loosened his grip on Alex’s waist and let him scooch away. He carefully did not notice how Alex curled in close to the wall in order to maximize the space between them. 

“Good morning,” he said instead.

“Mm, morning,” Alex replied. He ran a hand over his face. His other hand searched near his leg for something. Belatedly, Michael realized he was looking for something to cover him. Michael never slept with a blanket and the sheet had ended up pooled at the foot of the bed during the night. 

Deciding to give Alex a break, Michael jolted up from the bed and grabbed at the floor for the closest clothing. His hands snagged his jeans and he quickly pulled them on without bothering to button them or even look for his underwear. “You want coffee?” He asked over his shoulder as he stepped away from the bed. 

“Uh no thanks,” he heard Alex say quietly. “What time is it?” 

Michael looked around for his phone before realizing that he’d never taken it out of his pocket last night. He quickly pulled it out and glanced at the time, ignoring the messages from Isobel. “Almost 8:30,” he answered.

“Shit.” Alex replied. There was a movement behind him and Michael turned to see Alex alive with motion. “I have to get to the base.”

Michael nodded to himself. Alex sat on the edge of the bed scrounging on the floor for his clothes, as Michael watched idly. He had to smile when he saw Alex pick up his underwear instead of his own. Alex didn’t notice at first, busy trying to grab his jeans and shirt from where they lay scattered. Michael glanced around the small trailer, his smile growing as he spotted where Alex’s underwear had landed after Michael took them off the night before. Seeing that Alex had successfully collected the rest of his clothing and was preparing to get dressed, he coughed slightly to get his attention. Alex glanced up at him briefly then looked away and prepared to step into his underwear.

A part of Michael liked the idea of Alex wearing his underwear but he knew Alex would not find it amusing once he realized. Smile now gone, Michael rolled his eyes. “Alex,” he started.

“What?” Alex answered softly.

“Those are mine.” Alex froze and looked more closely at what he was doing. Michael watched a faint blush race across his cheeks and neck. 

“Um,” Alex began, “Where are-” He turned to face Michael and cut himself off when he saw where the other man was looking. Michael looked back at him, fascinated to see the blush spread even further. “Can you-”

Michael didn’t answer. He just reached up and grabbed Alex’s underwear from where it had gotten stuck on top of the barely open bathroom door in his tiny hallway. He handed them over without another word. 

“Thanks,” Alex said with a slight chuckle. Michael hummed in response then retreated back to the kitchen area. “Hey, uh-” Michael turned around to see a now slightly clothed Alex peering at the ground around him. He hadn’t heard Alex stutter this much since high school. It was terribly endearing. He quirked an eyebrow when Alex didn’t continue. “My um-leg. Where’s the prosthetic?” 

Michael turned and reached for the small dining area. Alex had asked him to move it over there last night to make sure it didn’t get damaged in the course of their activities. Gripping it tight, he handed it over to Alex. “Do you need help with that or-?”

Alex shook his head. “No, I’ve got it.” And he clearly did. In a few quick moves, the prosthetic was secure on his leg. “But thanks.” He added afterwards. Michael nodded. Alex didn’t talk about it but he’d gotten the sense that other people, other partners, hadn’t been so accepting of the prosthetic. _Assholes_ , he thought dimly. 

Alex continued getting dressed in silence. After a few moments, the quiet started to feel oppressive and Michael shoved his way out of the trailer. It only took a moment for the ground to remind him that he hadn’t bothered to find his shoes either but damned if he was going back in there for them now. 

He’d had plenty of awkward morning afters, but this one was taking the cake. He wasn’t even sure what it was that was making Alex so uncomfortable. He’d thought they were on the same page yesterday but Alex’s behavior this morning was giving off a very different impression. He figured burning the soles of his feet was worth giving Alex the space he clearly wanted.

A few minutes ticked by. For someone who had just been in a rush to get to the base, Alex sure was taking his sweet time. Just as Michael decided that trying to be polite wasn’t worth burning the soles of his feet off and headed back towards the trailer, the door swung open and Michael stopped as Alex quickly made his way down the stairs. 

Alex glanced at him before making his way towards his truck. After a few steps, he paused and turned back towards Michael.   
Michael hung his head. He knew what was coming. It was the same thing he always said. Selfishly, he had hoped they would be past this by now.

Sure enough, Alex opened with, “Look, don’t-” 

“Don’t tell anyone. This can’t happen again. It shouldn’t have happened this time.” Michael couldn’t help but cut him off. He knew he sounded cold and bitter but he was done pretending it didn’t hurt every time Alex tried to pretend he meant nothing. “Yeah, I got it. Same shit as always.”

Alex looked taken aback. He opened his mouth but, abruptly, Michael decided that he didn’t want to hear it. He took a few long steps back into the trailer and let the door slam behind him. He stopped and ran a hand over his face. He was startled to feel tears on his cheeks. Michael Guerin didn’t cry. Especially not over a human. 

Wiping his face, he leaned heavily over the countertop and hung his head. He’d give himself a few moments to wallow and then he’d be good as new. 

Except.

After a few minutes, the door swung open behind him. Jerking around, he stared at the figure in his doorway. 

Alex didn’t wait for an invitation. He just walked right in and let the door slam behind him.

The two men stood staring at each other across the tiny trailer for a long moment. “What did you mean by that?” Alex said, finally.

Michael was still shocked to see him. He had heard the truck pull away. He knew he had. And yet, Alex was still here. And he looked pissed. “What did I mean by what?” He asked somewhat cautiously. He hadn’t thought he’d said anything particularly infuriating. 

“Same shit as always?” Alex repeated.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. He was pretty sure that was self explanatory. “Uh. I mean- it is?” He shook his head. “I don’t understand the question.”

Alex huffed. Michael couldn’t read his face. Not that that was new, exactly, but it still made him sad. Before Alex left, before things went to hell, _before_ \- he could read Alex like a book. It was something he prided himself on but now. Now, Alex was different. And he hadn’t the time or opportunity to learn all of his new expressions. Like this one. 

“You said-” He cut himself off. Briefly he looked down as he adjusted his brace before steeling himself and staring Michael in the face. “You said _don’t tell anyone. This can’t happen again. It shouldn’t have happened this time_.” Alex parroted. “Same shit as always.” His voice hardened.

Michael was still confused. “Yeah, I know what I said.”

“Why did it sound like you were blaming me for that?” Alex asked angrily. Michael was stunned. 

He opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out. He was taken aback by how angry Alex seemed by this. “I didn’t think I was blaming you but it is your standard farewell or whatever. Every time we have sex, you give me the same spiel.” He finally said. “Keep it to myself. This can’t happen again. Yada yada.”

Alex shifted his feet and ran a hand through his hair. Michael wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he was expecting but it wasn’t for Alex to get angrier. “That was you!” Alex yelled back.

Michael stood up from where he had been leaning against the counter. The movement brought them closer together in the narrow aisle. “I have never said that. I never wanted to keep it a secret.” He spat back. “And I sure as hell have never said I didn’t want it to happen again.”

Alex didn’t answer right away so he took one more small step, getting right up in Alex’s face. Softly, he said again, “I would _never_ say I didn’t want it to happen again.”

Alex still didn’t answer so Michael continued. Might as well get it all out now. “From the very first time you have called the shots. And that’s fine. But you were the one who didn’t want to tell anyone. Every time you came back for a visit, you were the one who ran out of here as soon as we were done, telling me that it was a mistake and it shouldn’t have happened and that it needed to not happen again. Every. Single. Time. That was you, Alex. Not me.” He stepped back. “And that’s fine. I went along with it. I didn’t complain because- because, hell Alex, I’ve always just tried to take what I could get with you. I figured if I made a big deal out of it then you really wouldn’t come back.” 

Michael took another step until his back hit the counter and he slouched against it. 

Alex was stunned. “I’ve called the shots? You literally threw me out not 10 minutes after the first time we had sex.” He shot back. He didn’t address the rest of what Michael had said.

Michael furrowed his brow. “No I didn’t?” He answered. He was positive Alex had been the one to ask him to keep quiet from the very beginning. But Alex sounded so sure.

“Yes, you did!” Alex shouted. “My-OUR first time you rolled out of bed practically before I could catch my breath and you threw my clothes at me and shoved me out the door.” 

Oh. Now Michael remembered. He stood up straighter. “You mean when my homophobic foster father came home early and I didn’t want to give him yet another reason to beat the shit out of me by catching me in bed with a guy?” His voice was hard now. “Ok, yes. I’m sorry. I did throw you out that first time.” He moved closer and pushed at Alex’s chest with his finger. His voice was softer now. “But then I came after you that same fucking day and tried to make it up to you and you said it was better if we just forgot it ever happened.” That wasn’t something he would ever forget. Hearing Alex saying that it would be better if they pretended nothing had happened between them was his first taste of heartbreak.

Alex didn’t answer. “You only ever came to me when we were alone. You were the one who would barely acknowledge me in public.”

“Because that’s what you wanted!” Michael finally raised his voice. “I don’t care- I have never cared what other people thought about me. I couldn’t give a shit if they all pointed and laughed as I walked down the street but you-” He stepped back. “God Alex, you like people. And you like it when people like you. You’re a people pleaser. And being with the town asshole was not going to please anyone. Especially not your father.” He spat out the last word. He had _feelings_ about SSG Manes. None of them particularly good. 

“You think I cared?” Alex sounded shocked. “How many gay kids are there in Roswell?” 

Michael didn’t answer so Alex continued. “We like to think we’re more enlightened here for some reason but we’re not. People still don’t like gay people. Just because they don’t come out and say it doesn’t mean I never got looks. Doesn’t mean people didn’t try and protect their sons from me when they saw me in a store. You think I need people to like me? I need my dad to like me?” He scoffed. “If I cared that much about other people, I never would’ve come out. So if you think I cared more about what the people in this town thought of me then I did about being with you… god for a genius you sure are a dumbass.”

Michael stared at him. He was trying to process what he was hearing and it wasn’t computing. “Then why-why the spiel?”

Alex huffed. “Because you literally threw me out of your house naked after having sex for the first time. Sent a pretty clear message that this,” he gestured between them, “Wasn’t something you wanted for real.”

“You think I would be coming after you 10 years later if this wasn’t something that I wanted?” Michael asked quietly.

Alex shook his head. “I think you don’t know what you want. We’re hiding again. You came after me at the reunion, yes. But only when we were alone with no chance of anyone seeing us. Tell me, Guerin, do Max and Isobel know about me? Do they even know that you like guys?” 

Michael’s shoulders sagged. He hated it when Alex called him by his last name. Like he was a stranger. Or a colleague. He shrugged. “I never kept it from them.”

“So you told them?”

“There’s never been a need to. I don’t hide.” And wasn’t that the biggest load of crap he’d ever said.

“So Max and Isobel have seen you with guys? They know you’re bi?” Alex reiterated. 

Michael straightened his back. “They would have. Except there haven’t exactly been a whole lot of guys for them to see me with.”

Alex looked taken aback. Michael continued. “You want me to call them up? I’m sure Iz would love to know what’s going on. She’s always on my ass about not sharing enough.”

Alex shook his head. “That’s my point. You shouldn’t-I shouldn’t have to ask you to tell your family about-” he cut himself off before finishing. 

“Look. I’m not a sharer. I don’t just go up to people and tell them my life story. Max and Iz have never asked if I was with someone or if I liked guys and it was never really relevant to just bring it up. Especially since you kept saying you didn’t want anyone to know.” He braced his hands against the counter at his back and shrugged his shoulders again. “But if you want me to tell them, I got no reason not to.”

Alex didn’t answer for a long moment. “Tell them what, exactly?” He finally asked. “Tell them we used to mess around in high school? When I had leave? What would you tell them Guerin?”

“Don’t call me that.”

Alex blinked. “What, your name?”

“My name is Michael. Guerin is a last name the foster system gave me.” He spat out. He didn’t mind his last name most of the time. But when people called him by it, it irritated him and he never talked about why.

Alex started to reach for him but stopped, his hand clenching into a fist in the small space between them. “Ok. I’m sorry.”

“And as for what I’d tell them. Well, I already told you nothing’s changed for me. So I’d probably just tell them that.” His voice was soft. The air between them was charged and he feared disrupting it if he spoke too loudly. “I’d tell them I fell in love with this punk kid back in high school but then he left and broke my heart. And now he’s back and throwing me for some huge fucking loops because he can’t make up his mind about what he wants.” 

Alex waited half a breath before surging towards Michael. His hand gripped his curls as he caught Michael’s lips with his own. Michael responded eagerly, his own hands going to Alex’s waist to pull him close. Just as they were getting lost in the kiss, Alex’s phone rang. Michael tried to ignore it but Alex pulled away. 

“Shit,” he gasped as he patted his pockets for his phone. Pulling it out, he answered quickly, trying to get his breathing back under control. 

“Manes,” he answered, letting out a huge breath when he heard the voice on the other end. “Hey, yeah I know. I’m late.” It was then that Michael remembered Alex had been in a rush to work earlier. “I’m coming. Sorry.” Alex hung up.

“I really have to go.” He said. Michael could hear the apology in his voice so he just nodded. Alex stepped in close for another kiss. This one was considerably slower and more gentle than the first one. Alex didn’t let it go on for too long though, to Michael’s chagrin. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against Michael’s. “I have to go.” He repeated. “But I’ll be back later?” He said questioningly. 

Michael shook his head. “I have to move the trailer today. I’m gonna park it behind Isobel’s for a few days until I figure out where to go next.” 

Alex nodded. “Ok. Then I’ll look for you at Isobel’s.” He stepped away from Michael then. “We really need to continue this conversation.” Michael smirked but Alex just shook his head. “I mean the actual conversation we were having. With words.” He reiterated. 

He paused on his way to the door and stared back at Michael. Michael was happy to see the lust and frustration he felt mirrored in his eyes. Dimly, he realized he’d never finished getting dressed and was only in his unbuttoned jeans. Smiling, he stretched out a bit to make sure Alex got a good eyeful of what he was missing to go to work. He was rewarded almost immediately when Alex took two quick steps to press himself back up against Michael. Their third kiss lasted considerably longer than the second. By the end of it, Michael’s jeans were not only unbuttoned but also unzipped. When Alex reached a hand for his cock, Michael pushed him away gently. He was gratified to hear the moan ripped from Alex’s throat when they separated. “You have to go to work.” He reminded him. Alex glared at him but nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m going.” He turned back to the door. This time he made it onto the stairs outside before pausing and looking back. “Maybe the conversation can wait until tomorrow. We might have other things to do tonight.” Michael felt the grin spread across his face. 

Alex made it to the bottom of the stairs before turning around fully in the still open doorway. “Michael?” He waited until he was sure he had his attention. “I love you too. I’ll see you tonight.”


End file.
